On Days Like This…

It’s like a different place comes to me for a day; existing in the world feels somehow better, more pleasant. When I was just a kid I used to love things associated with bad luck. For some reason, I was confronted with Friday the 13th and I thought to myself, this day is inverted. For everyone else, it’s bad luck, for me, it’s good luck. It’s getting to watch people deal with their problems with the world against them for a day, and it’s a day where my problems aren’t even there, they don’t effect me, because I can handle anything on a day that’s unlucky for everybody else.

It’s like… today, luck is on my side, not theirs.

I think it goes a lot deeper than just a silly notion I had as a kid. It reflects my nature. Inverted, resistant, and… even an unspoken arrogance. Silent but undeniable, even then. I don’t often think much about it anymore, but today I have been and, despite not believing in a lot of the bullshit other people do (at least not in the same way), the superstitions, that notion hasn’t really left me. I still think I’m going to have a better day than you, even if you only half-heartedly think superstitions like this are real, or if you don’t believe in them at all.

The thing of it is… it doesn’t matter if any of it is real. It’s real enough for people to have been affected by it, it’s real enough that some people out there are hating their supposed bad luck, and it’s real enough for the more secular people to joke about it. It’s not real enough to be what people think it is (if they do in fact believe these things are simply real, that today is a day of bad luck, that a rabbit’s foot brings good luck…), but it’s real enough for me to enjoy. It’s real enough that I feel more ‘in control’ and less oppressed by all the boredom, monotony, and dullness that comes with reality.

It’s real in the same way god, created by man, is real.

It’s real the same way the Star Wars universe is real.

The same way a cultures morality is real.

The same way a story or a character is real.

It’s real enough for me to enjoy.

Today is Friday the 13th, and my day has been a slightly more pleasant one because of that, with superstitions on my mind, the real and the imagined. With memories of my childhood dancing in my head, and reflections of myself glittering there alongside them, shining in my minds eye. My sense of being apart from other people, my resistance to other people, to expectations, to my environment. All shining with the full moon that’s in the sky tonight.

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