They Come & They Go

People, that is. The internet is like a little micro version of the world in many respects and that’s one of them. Writing on a blog like this one, the sea of faces is always churning, changing. That’s the way people have always been from my perspective, coming and going. Some stay longer than others, but they all go away eventually. As time passes, no matter how constant someone’s presence, it won’t be there forever. The only constants I have known keep dwindling and I can’t help but think a part of that is because of me. My intrinsic nature. Even my dad lives all the way in New Orleans these days, and before that it was Texas. He moved there with my step mother, brother, and sister when I was about sixteen. I opted to stay in California.

My grandparents are really the only remaining life long connection I have… that, and one of my cousins. We grew up together like brothers. But he’s getting older, doing his own thing, and he’s distant. Maybe only for a while since we get on like no time at all has passed when we end up in the same house together, but all the same he’s got his own life to live. Even my grandparents, who I’m probably closest to these days… I don’t particularly like thinking about it, but the clock is ticking. Someday, hopefully later but maybe sooner, they’re both going to be gone. That shred of evidence, that I can rely on someone being there, knowing me… won’t be there forever either. Aside from them there’s nothing to prove to me that I’m anything but alone. In the end we all are.

“Don’t count on others for help. In the end each of us is in this alone. The survivors are those who know how to look out for themselves.”
~Groshik, to Dessel (Darth Bane: Path of Destruction)

That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a thing. Pain, loss… etc. Solitude is inevitable. That’s no excuse not to reach out to people, connect, or to avoid relationships of any kind. It’s just part of the price of being attached. To people, places, things. I cherish everything I am (or was) attached to, but I also know every one of them is going to hurt.

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10 thoughts on “They Come & They Go

    • Exactly. Although… I don’t think I’ll ever understand the reaction buddhism has chosen in the face of that reality. Nirvana seems like a very anti-life thing to aspire to. I get the logic, but we’re not strictly “rational” creatures, and embracing the (admittedly difficult, but) clean cut “it hurts, so let’s find a way to make it stop” seems inhuman. I’m not projecting that onto you or anything either haha, the quote just kind of reminded me of all the baggage attached to it.

      Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 .

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      • I agree that Buddhism isn’t exactly humanist in the same way as most ideologies fail: suffer now for paradise when you die! But the bit I quoted stands. It’s what we do about it that matters, I guess.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Hello! I like this post, especially “I cherish everything I am (or was) attached to” and while I DO agree that “Solitude is inevitable”, I like to hope that as long as you have just one person there with you when you go, then you won’t, subjectively, be alone, me being the eternal optimist. 😀 Thanks so much for the follow, right back at you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you liked it 🙂 . I think I’m more of a cynic and a pessimist haha, or maybe misanthrope is a better word (I don’t really dislike other people, but I don’t really trust them either, generally speaking). I still have hope, an optimistic sense of what’s possible when you follow your heart… but I also feel it’s possible for me to end up entirely alone at some point.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is not self-promotion. Based on this post, there may be a few posts in my primary blog meaningsandmusings.wordpress.com you may enjoy. I write about loss, connection, .. existential ‘stuff’ – I hope you find something of interest there. 🙂

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