Only For Myself…?

Not only have I seen this as a recurrent (and often early) post throughout the world of blogs, but I’ve written it myself in the past: “I write for me, and me alone.” I wonder why there’s this apparent need to affirm ones reasons for writing, to clarify that it’s “just for me” and further, I’ve always harbored an uncertainty about how true it really is. I’m well aware of the vanity I possess, the self-centered nature I embrace, but if my words are only meant for me than why am I writing here instead of in a journal offline? These are all questions and curiosities I’ve mulled over plenty in the past, and my answers have varied from one rumination to another; in fact, if I were to go back and find all of the different ways I’ve come to look at it the contradictions would be endless.

My View Now

I write for myself. And I write to connect, though I find time and effort spent interacting with people to be a drain, no matter how enjoyable the experience or how likable the person(s). As previously mentioned, I’m vain, with some (large) part of me screaming that what goes on in my head matters enough to be put on display, that my thoughts, insights, opinions, values, and beliefs are valuable, and can even appeal to others.

I guess that’s a substantial part of why I write where others can see: I’m putting pieces of myself on display, with every sentence, every paragraph, every post. Why question it? Most of the time the wondering and the doubts are just insecurity. I try not to let doubt, insecurity, or uncertainty hold me back or confuse me though, so as far as all this contemplation goes… it doesn’t hurt to indulge in every once in a while and it isn’t completely useless, but that’s exactly what it is: an indulgence.

Gems for the Reader (You didnt forget I was Vain, did you?)

Do what you do and don’t over-think it.
Don’t plan the person you are, just be the person you are.


(Originally Posted Here on April 1st, 2013)

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “Only For Myself…?

  1. I recently shared a quote by Cyril Connolly on my tumblr blog:
    “” Better to write for yourself and have no public than to write for the public and have no self. ”

    I consider blogging an exercise. It’s not a show of ‘me’ it’s a show of thoughts. Thoughts that I’m mulling over, presenting in a variety of ways and the ‘public’ may or may not offer feedback. I’m not looking for it but I appreciate it when it comes. It tells me how my thoughts are being received and dialogues add to the exercise.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I get that. I’m actually not really looking for much feedback myself, to be honest; the interactive part of it is just something I take as coming with the territory of this format. It’s a hell of a lot easier than getting published, it’s all mine, and it’s at whatever pace I decide on. To me, the thoughts I put out there are pieces of myself, however small. And… not everyone wants recognition or appreciation, but when it comes to me, I’m pretty vain. Over the last few years I’ve kind of learned to revel in that.

      I definitely like the quote though. Authentically showing who I am, how I am, is important to me. Any “public” that wants to see it is, ultimately, icing on the cake.

      Like

  2. “Do what you do and don’t overthink it.” Damn, that’s the second time in 24 hours I’ve been given that advice, and dammit, you’re right! The universe is trying to get through to me.

    I wouldn’t normally link to a post of my own, but I must link you to the comment I was left yesterday, which gives exactly your advice, only in different words: “Sometimes a joyous refusal to navel-gaze is the very best way to live!” You can see the original comment from Belladonna Took at the end of this post: http://verbaldreaming.wordpress.com/2014/09/15/playing/

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I echo the comment of Zin. It is not thinking that my ideas are so earth shaking. Writing is a form of artistic expression (hopefully :)) Of course, I like the “likes” in that they tell me someone is reading what I am writing. The “likes” can become a bit addictive though, like Pavlov’s dog. But this is the main thing, writing is a way to give voice to the inner you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well… I actually wonder about that. If you do something for your brother or sister, or your wife, or even your neighbor… is that action less *your* action because it’s for them? Maybe even writing for the benefit of others can be true to yourself. Maybe truer than some would like… if a person writes for others, but feels bad about it, like they’re not being true to themselves, that turmoil tends to show. So maybe it’s inevitably true to ourselves, and sometimes we just don’t like what we see, aren’t where we think we should be, when we notice it.

      Like

  4. I’m fascinated by the “writer” debate. As with any art form – inexplicably, some were born to write, while others learn accepted styles or formulas. The majority of those who “write” will never be “published”, let alone make a living at it. A few social media savvy hipsters will garner enough “hits” to consider themselves “writers”. Who are we to judge. One person’s velvet Elvis is another s Picasso. Writing is subjective – why we write, who we write for, analyzing the difference along with how/why it effects our writing – strike me as pointless wastes of energy – stop thinking and write!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Overthinking things, especially things like this, can certainly get in the way of actually getting anything (worthwhile) written 🙂 .

      “Do it or don’t. It’s amazing how many things in life are that easy.”
      ~Henry Rollins

      Like

      • Chuck “overthinking”, I avoid thinking at all, once I’ve hit “publish”. Truth be told – half the time I start writing with nary a thought to where I’m going – quite liberating 🙂 Every so often I produce something remarkable (more precisely, a critically acclaimed – “like” or “follow” generating post) and scratch my head because it wasn’t particularly well written or thought out.Long story short – the reason I resist temptation to invest expectations into anything I write.

        Sit down, let it go and see what happens. Occasions where my words strike chords in others are precious.Equally valued are those moments when reading other blogs ignite my emotions.Neither would be the same if I planned or looked for them – the reward is when they smack me on the head.

        PS – these are a few of my favorite posts – posts that went un-noticed. Unseen, unacknowledged – utterly irrelevant.in my mind 🙂

        http://notestoponder.wordpress.com/2012/11/26/vanity/

        http://notestoponder.wordpress.com/2013/08/10/dear-erin/

        http://notestoponder.wordpress.com/2014/07/26/worlds-largest-tomahawk-2/

        Don’t feel obliged to click 🙂

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s