Don’t Think So Much

I guess the daily post from WordPress had a prompt about thinking before speaking, or doing… or something. I only know because I’ve read two posts the other day centering around that, linking back to the prompt. I agree more with the first post I read than the second, but I also have no problem maintaining two dissonant, contradictory points of view. The first post was titled No Time To Think, so that should give you a pretty good idea of how Joan sees it. Thinking Before I Speak was the second one, posted by Zoe, and it was more on the other end of the spectrum. Pausing, collecting herself, more carefully managing the power of her words and actions.

I love the first one because I’m someone who tends to think way to much a lot of the time, intrinsically, habitually, masochistically… and because of the contrast, savor absolute beauty of just experiencing life. The simplicity. Without thought. Without worry. Being the animal I am with no regard for anything beyond that. Just… Being. That’s one of the reasons I like drugs I would guess. The mental oblivion I’ve reached at times has been seductive for that alone. Take away any pleasures of an altered state and I’d still be in love with that sweet sense of oblivion.

And while we’re on the subject, there’s nothing “wrong” with that. Drug “addicts” are just idiots who can’t handle throwing drugs into the mix without fucking up their lives. If you can hold a job, refrain from stealing to meet your habit, and pay your monthly bills, no one has a right to bitch at you for drug use. What’s more, you’ve got no reason to apologize for it. I know I don’t.

On the other hand I’m just wired to micro-manage the way people perceive me. I often think things up and down, left and right, obsessively, until I’m sick of it. So I know the value of mindfully exercising the influence I have over people, for ‘good’ or ill, and thinking before I speak or act. I think I’d still say not to think so much though. It’s a miserable cycle and one I’m not ashamed to hop out of as often as I can. The pay off is questionable anyways because I know a lot of people who just point, shoot, and see what happens. It’s more along the lines of what I prefer. It’s stimulating, exciting. A lot more fun.

It might make life harder. There might be more collateral damage. But I still say it’s better to cause damage than to have no effect at all on the world. Better to feel pain than to feel nothing. You could say I have an appreciation for both extremes. I gravitate towards (over) thinking, but I’m also aware of what a waste of time it can ultimately be. At least with blind action and passion you’ve got something interesting to think about. Without it you’ve just got the thinking. The mind whirling away while the body and spirit stay motionless. Eating away at itself for lack of action, for lack of any real stimulation and sustenance. Withering.

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