A lot of people like to think we change. Probably for a lot of the same reasons people like to believe in a higher power. Both major cases of b.s. if you ask me though. I used to believe people could change. But then I hit my early twenties, and starting wondering… have I changed? Not really. I grow, I evolve. I become a more sophisticated version of myself. Layered, experienced, smarter. Some pieces missing from my mind maybe… or my heart. Other pieces growing, filling in gaps or expanding into new places.
There’s this saying though, that everything changes, and… everything stays the same.
I’ll still do coke all night long if I’ve got some in front of me, and so long as I’ve got the cash. Not that I have over the last few years, but you can bet your ass I would if I felt like it. I don’t really care what the law says. Never have… At some point early on the ties between what I felt was okay and what was legal, became completely seperate. That’s probably partially my Dad’s influence actually, smoking obscene amounts of weed for my entire life and teaching me boundaries of sharing instead of that it was wrong.
I’d thank him for that if I could, if he wasn’t living in another state right now, because if right and wrong even truly exist in a moral sense it’s not decided by the law. My lack of morality beyond that… is more my own doing. But the point is, just because I haven’t done any drugs for a few years doesn’t mean I wouldn’t. Just because I recognize the value of consistency doesn’t mean I’m suddenly more reliable, or that I’ll put forth the effort to become consistent in what I do and when I do it. I’m terrible at that, and while I have ups and downs with it I’ll always be terrible.
Ill-suited to the conventional clockwork rythm of the world.
Of course that isn’t really here or there. What I’m getting at is… the more I change, the more I stay the same. We just do what’s in our nature. Dress it up however you want, but even a success story is just a story about a person that took who they were and magnified it into something others could call a success, expanding it and touching other peoples lives. They put themselves into their work, or their art. Every one of you reading this knows me not because I’ve changed, but because I’ve divied up pieces of myself and displayed them to you.
Effectively making myself bigger, shinier, easier to see, and easier to explore.
That’s not to say I’m counting myself a “success story”, but it’s an observable example I can point to to show what I mean. The millionaire real estate agent isn’t any different, channeling who he is into the work, into the reaping, the profit. Getting rich. Gaining a reputation. Gaining skills. He’s still whoever he was before, more or less. That one great teacher you had in high school, that actually cared about the students, cared about you, got to that position and used it in such a memorable way because they channeled who they were into becoming what they wanted to be, which isn’t different than who they were already.
Just bigger, seasoned, and more skilled.
We evolve, we expand our reach, but we do not change.