Public Apologies

Absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder, and apologizing for it when you’re back… doesn’t make any sense to me. At least not when it comes to blogging. It always kind of puzzles me when I see that “sorry for not posting” line pop up from someone I follow. I’ve flirted with that kind of a post once or twice, but I’ll never outright apologize. That implies shame, and even when I do feel it for lack of writing, it belongs to me. It’s not usually for public consumption.

Not only is there nothing to apologize for, it gets a little annoying after a while. Granted, I don’t hold it against the people I really want to see more from because as soon as they post something real I’ll be right there with everyone else reading it all. And I sympathize with the solitary nature of writing to anonymous “someones” out there about why you haven’t been posting… about how it can lead to that intrsopective typing, a sort of thinking aloud to yourself.

All the same though, the shame is something you are hung up on. Speaking from the perspective of a follower, a subscriber, a reader… at worst your followers are going to be a little bummed to not have something new at your usual pace of output. But it’s just not something we need or deserve an apology for. At most, maybe an explanation, and don’t tell me there’s not a difference. You can tell between explanation and apology by the tone of writing.

Even that is stretching it a bit though, as far as what I’m interested in. I always assume no one wants to hear about my insecurities, doubts, or inner turmoil. At least not as a focal point to what I might be saying at the time. Sharing insecurity all the time to look for validation always screams of insecurity, and while that might draw some of the more compassionate people in… really, most of the time it just bores me. I doubt I’m alone in feeling that way.

Chronic oversharing of your insecurities can be attractive to some people, but…

Is it really going to attract the kind of attention you want? Most of it is going to come from other people that feel the same way, and I wouldn’t trust that their reassurances were anything but a way to reassure themselves. You’re just the convenient proxy of the moment for them. The rest of us, the ones that keep most of our insecurities and doubts to ourselves, are simply going to shrug and wait until you have something more interesting to say.


2 thoughts on “Public Apologies

  1. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I chiefly write lyric poetry and so I pour out all my shame, angst, frustration, insecurity, lust, love and madness using my work. And that I don’t regret. But there have been times when I’ve directly spoken about things that should have never been talked about in an attempt to gain sympathy. And frankly I’m sick of it. Sick of pouring out my shit to an audience that hardly knows me. So thank you. You helped someone root himself in stability for another day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not sure I would apply this entirely to lyrics. Unless you’re apologizing for not writing any new material… but otherwise, when it comes to the type of art that’s meant to exist with or without it’s author (e.g. my fiction, rather than my blog posts) anything goes. Sometimes it’s a good means of exorcising feelings, ideas, and creating something more from them. Something with a life of its own. Something seperate from oneself, in a way.

      Just a thought 🙂 .


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