As You Are

People pleasing seems to be a wide-spread disease… at least that’s one of the ways I think of it. I’m good at guessing what people want, things they want to hear or see, things they hope for… but the talent I have for that tends to obscure one very important fact. I don’t know what other people really want. It’s a guessing game. Good at it or not, I still just don’t know. Hell, a lot of the time I don’t even know what I want and it seems I can only write freely when I remember that, resign to it. That starts the cycle, builds confidence in the judgement calls I make.

It’s a frustrating cycle too because then I start making more and more judgements, playing to my strength until it becomes a weakness, a way of taking one wrong, unsatisfying turn after another. And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Satisfaction. A sense of fulfillment, pleasure, enjoyment. That really what everything is about. For all our high-minded ideals, we all just want to feel good don’t we… empowered. Accomplished. Whole. So I don’t know how it is that not knowing leads to this kind of certainty, but for whatever reason, it seems to.

People generally seem to pride themselves on being above animals. Our precious intellect, our intelligence, our self awareness. It makes a lot of them feel special. We’re not though. We’re just clever animals, and more often than not were to clever for our own good. I know that for myself my mind, my ability to reason and think, gets in the way of thriving more than anything else. What about that is really better? I used to believe in the value of my smarts, but… that was when I was just a kid. Truth is, the mind is no good when it eclipses and hinders baser instincts.

We are animals, little beasts like any other, and we are not special. The mind is only valuable when it serves our bestial instincts. Not when it is looked to as a substitute, or used as a way of “fixing” ourselves to better fit the societal or religious ideals we’re exposed to. A lot of us our taught to believe in those sooner or later, but the only thing you can truly believe in is yourself.

As you are.

Pardon the deep thoughts… I guess I’m in a reflective mood today.


7 thoughts on “As You Are

  1. Ah! one of my most valued arguing topics- “human vs animal”
    I believe that, while yes, humans do have the better ability to do things differently because of our “intelligence”, we truly are not more intelligent than animals. Not only are animals a brilliant species, they are also just and loyal. Humans.. well, humans are mainly greedy, evil, mean and selfish! We destroy even when we create (because our creations tend to bring destruction)…

    And no I’m not in a bitchy mood, this is really how I feel about humans! 😀 I have accepted the fact that we are a disease to this planet. Like cancer is to humans. Animals alone could sustain themselves and create a full working system, an ecological environment. Humans can’t.

    Anyway… (sorry for the rant!)…I just think that is simply very typical of a human to think that we are above anything and anyone else. That’s the difference in between humans and animals, isn’t it? The arrogance! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • No apologies necessary 😉 . I’d say… we’re kind of on different sides of the fence in one key way; I don’t think animals are better than humans, just that humans are (and this is where we definitely agree) extraordinarily arrogant. Something I happily embrace about myself to, I should add, but something I also feel the need to acknowledge and remember. We have all this stuff, complex language, technologies, etc. but monkeys make tools to. They just don’t feel the need or have the mental capacity to come up with a reason for half the shit we’ve created for ourselves….

      When it comes to greed and evil, that’s where our different perspectives are I think. I don’t really think I believe in objective evil; it’s a fun concept to play with or pretend to be because so many people really believe in evil, but I think it’s more of a concept than anything else. Not an actual objective moral fact of existence. And greed… I’d say I have more of a problem with stupid greed than with greed itself. Thinking about the big corporations, the assholes that work on Wall Street… they’re not just greedy, they’re also stupid. Simply 2+2=4 level logic should tell a person that if you erode the system that’s making you so much money, you’re eventully going to destroy it.

      The capacity for making more money goes away without that system, and the money they’ve already made becomes dangerously close to useless. If people of that financial status would just *think*, I don’t know that their greed would be as much of a problem.

      Haha, in any case I get what you’re saying and mostly have to agree. Less intelligent animals are… simpler, I guess I’d say. lol Actually, so are psychopaths. There’s a certain ‘purity’, I guess I’d call it, that appeals to me. One I think applies to us too, it’s just that a lot of folks are to proud to admit we’re as simple and predictable as we really are. Underlying all the complex ideologies, social systems, institutions, technologies, etc…. all of those spring from very simple, very primal foundations imo.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well, Master of the Pen as you are, you of course express yourself with way more ease than myself 😀 and I agree with you in many levels also!
        I am glad you mentioned the Wall Street arseholes- I think their greed is not only stupid- it’s also intentional!
        The older I get the more I realize that a regular, middle class human is an effing puppet to the whole “fancy”, glittery, corporation-based system. Humans are slaves to money that doesn’t even exist but since we’re told otherwise we just “run into the walls” anyway 😀

        But indeed… I like the idea of “purity”. As they say, beauty is in simplicity and simplicity works!

        About evil- I mean to be no party-pooper, because for a lot of people ignorance is bliss, but yesterday evening watching the news about how one country is spending 150 million on a freaking war plane made me laugh out loud. It’s what I do when anger and sadness doesn’t justify anymore. I just realize it more and more that it’s not really citizens the powers that be really care about but a power play of “who has more and better toys”… that 150 million could put a whole town’s homeless people into housing and help a great number of children with education. But oh well… where ever the priorities lie. This is what evil means to me.
        Also the “carers” that abuse elderly disabled people in care homes. They are evil…sometimes this evil is like a side-effect for power over others.
        Evil is also in the humans who bully… because they have no regard towards the families who lose their children to suicide due to bullying.

        Animals don’t do that! Animals are black and white.. They kill when they’re hungry. They fight a fair fight over the place for the pack-leader. They sustain themselves without this extra “fluff and puff” of a complicated emotions…
        Even though, emotions and empathy are valuable assets for a human to have.

        There’s always so many aspects that should/could be paid attention to in order to become a better person, isn’t it?! No wonder humanity sometimes fails. And don’t get me wrong. I don’t count myself into the same category as Mother Teresa. I am by no means a “good human” that I seem to be chasing for this world to get better. I judge myself as much as I judge a fellow human.

        hmm… I think what I have just wrote is a bit all over the place, jumping from one topic to another, but you’re a smart guy- you’ll get my gist.
        Thanks for sparking the need in me to speak out- I’m very passionate about some topics. That’s what blogging’s for, innit? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You should spend the day with a cow. The level of conversation is really sad and you can forget about the nuance of language. That shit is lost on a cow. I once tried to teach a chicken to read but she was only interested in pecking and scratching and once a day would lay an egg. Big fucking deal. And turkeys are so stupid they’ll drown looking up while it’s raining. Hey turkey, get your head down.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lol well, what use would a cow have for conversation anyways; sometimes I wonder if most of the “higher order” things we do – the way we socialize, the politics, the abstract thinking – are just ways in which we keep ourselves from going completely insane. We have this intellectual capacity so we can’t help but use it. It’s just as much in our nature as everything else imo, but I also tend to think that head and heart need to be in sync with each other, complimentary, rather than one being values over the other. If anything, I value the heart (and instinct) above the mind.

      “Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity.”
      ~Will Smith

      The mind, reasoning, logic… are all useful tools for sure. But they tend to get in the way when you pit your dreams against them, being realistic, being logical, being reasonable.

      “The reasonable man adapts himself to the conditions that surround him… The unreasonable man adapts surrounding conditions to himself… All progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
      ~George Bernard Shaw

      Of course the irony isn’t lost on me either, reasoning that reason is not all it’s cracked up to be. Funnily enough it may be worth mulling over a bit more… but then again I’d probably just be going around in (more circles). *shrugs* Ah well, I’m sure I’ll end up posting about it again sooner or later.

      Liked by 1 person

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