It always really puzzles me when I say something and people react with concern, or sympathy, or pity… Or when I post a certain kind of quote, when it’s about nihilism, or aloneness, things like that. It puzzles me because I never say something out of need for a shoulder to cry on or because I want support. I don’t want someone to tell me I’m not alone. I just say what I believe or what I feel, and when it’s something like that I generally only realize after the fact that it could be taken that way. My bad I guess because if people are misunderstanding then I must be the one miscommunicating, but it’s just strange to me how people take it that way as often as they do.
Take the quote (and image) I posted on Facebook a minute ago; it’s artwork from Marilyn Manson’s latest single, and a quote from one of his recent interviews that a) matched the feel of the portrait and b) made it clear who the image was associated with. I wanted to share the pic, had a phrase in mind from the horses mouth right before I uploaded it, and immediately after it was posted I realized… this could be seen as a very downtrodden, depressing thing to post. The quote: “The story is, you enter this world and you’re alone, and at the end of the day – spoiler alert! – you die alone.” And I get how that can be taken as an “oh I’m so alone” type of thing for people to relate to, but what it actually is (at least to me) is a statement of fact. A nice, short, simple, to the point statement of fact.
The portrait itself reminds me of the idea that the only way to know yourself is to lose your self. To blur the lines, break away from what defines you, set new boundaries, take on a different form. When you ultimately only have yourself, what could it hurt to embrace that? To exist as yourself, in flux, without apology. Anyways… that’s elaboration of what was going on in my head when I shared that. I would hope it goes to show that just because something appears to be depressing or in need of your sympathy, doesn’t mean it actually is. Chances are you’re just projecting. What you see in what I say is just a reflection of your own mentality, not necessarily mine. In fact when it comes to me I can personally garauntee I’m never looking for sympathy. Save it for another devil.