I have to remind myself of a few things from time to time.
One, that I should never be afraid to reinvent myself or what I’m doing. Never be afraid of taking a new approach or forgetting about everything I’ve previously written or said. I tend to hold to many of those past words and thoughts in my mind, holding myself to them out of habit more than anything else. Certainly not out of any practical value because while I say this or that one day, my opinion on something might be completely the reverse only a day later. You just never know and expecting consistency out of people, least of all oneself, is just silly. I do it because I can’t quite help myself from it but I know consistency is just a stupid illusion even when it seems like it’s there.
Two, that the essence of what I wrote on what this blog is, what it’s about, is probably an ever present part of what I’m doing here no matter how much I (or my writing) might change over time.
The freedom to make mistakes, to be sloppy, to have fun, that’s central to me doing anything worthwhile. Or so I like to think, given that I seem to be most satisfied when I’m approaching things with that kind of a mentality. I get more satisfying results. The words don’t always come out the way I want them to but at least they come out, and each post is another opportunity to work towards shaping my thoughts, my combinations of words, into what I want them to be. Into a purer expression of the things that are struggling to get out of my psyche, out into the world where they can be exposed to other people. Out where they might even be appreciated or admired.
Writing is just a part of life in the end, and like all things in life it needs movement to fight off atrophy and decay. It needs to be allowed it’s messiness and mutations or it withers away.